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Some nice guys, like their ideal women, are busy throwing themselves a pity party because they can’t find true love. Whether you’ve always been a nice guy or are a bad boy turned good, you might need a little push in the right direction to find Mrs. Right and steer clear of the wrong kind of women from now on.

The fact that you’re still single has nothing to do with your character and morals. Being a nice guy works to your advantage – you just don’t know how to leverage it in your favor yet!

Say goodbye to your nice guys finish last mentality. If you could be a fly on the wall in a room full of single women, you’d know they’re not looking for bad boys because they’re bad – but there’s a difference between them and you that you have to get straight so that you can pull in the attention those charismatic scoundrels seem to garner around women.

What Does It Mean to Be a “Nice Guy?”

There are two ways of being branded a nice guy. One way is great – it means women look at you with marriage proposals in mind, hoping they can be your one and only true and lasting love forever.

Women know you’re loyal, would make a great husband and father one day, and that every other woman in the room will envy them. The other way is like the nice guy you don’t want to be – the guy everyone only wants as a brother and not a lover – but even then, you can learn to shed that bad rap.

Why do women really like in bad boys? That they look good in tight jeans? That they drive flashy cars? Nope. It’s not looks and it’s not money. Women like to feel special.

So how does a bad guy give them what they want most? First of all, they’re fixer uppers. If she can change him to be a better man, then she’s a goddess – she has power and he must really love her. (Think Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets when he says, “You make me want to be a better man.”)

He also knows how to charm her, whereas many nice guys are so shy and flustered that they can’t articulate their thoughts when they need them most. This doesn’t make her think you’re lesser of a man.

In fact, it makes her question herself. She wonders if she’s not good enough to be flirted with and charmed. Many women – even the most beautiful ones – suffer from self-esteem issues. Beauties compare themselves to other beauties, and it’s a vicious cycle of questioning their worth.

When a nice guy stammers and ignores a woman (because he’s shy or unskilled at approaching her), she probably has no idea he’s a nice guy avoiding her because she intimidates him.

A bad girl is exciting, a bit scary, uninhibited, naughty, most likely irresponsible, and proud of it. Men seem to get a bit excited by bad girls – but they most likely don’t want to marry them, live with them, or have children with them.

Or as Rick James would say, they’re “the kind you don’t take home to mother.” That’s what bad boys are like for women. It’s true, there are women out there that for whatever reason, seem attracted only to men that are ultimately going to either break their hearts, take their money, embarrass them in public, or worse.

You’re probably not looking for those girls. And if you are, ask yourself why. Women who are self-respecting, well-adjusted, intelligent, fun-loving, sexy, exciting, and even a bit challenging (but not in a bad, scary way), are out there sorting through the piles of bad boys, players, self-proclaimed seducers and a myriad of other guys that don’t make the cut.

These women - the kind you want to marry – are seeking a guy who is fun, sexy (which has nothing to do with good looks), exciting, intelligent, responsible, romantic, loyal, strong in character, courageous, and kind. That’s most women’s definition of a nice guy in a good way.

Don’t go look in the mirror right now and say to yourself, “But I have a crappy job and I look like a nerd and I can’t dance.” You’re using a negative mindset and that is the very reason women may not be attracted to you!

Bad boys have confidence. Nice guys usually don’t. Or, they’re SO overly confident in what a great guy they are that they come off egotistical, which is a real turnoff for either gender.

Now here’s something to add a bit of confusion, but don’t panic. Even nice girls like a guy who has certain “bad boy” qualities, but don’t go breaking hearts just yet! A bit of spontaneity, a hint of recklessness (without wreaking havoc or causing mayhem and destruction), and a devil-may-care grin is fun.

You can learn to work that into your persona and give girls what they want without altering your morals or beliefs one bit.

The Rest of Your Gender Is Ruining It For You!

It’s sad, but true. There are a lot of guys out there who aren’t looking for a life partner or a wife – they’re looking to get a woman in bed and put another notch on their bedposts. And women are leery of this.

Most women assume first that any man that they meet or go out with is more interested in sex than finding out anything substantial and meaningful about her. Now truly, nice guys are interested in sex, too. Let’s not be obtuse here.

Sex is an important part of life and intimate partnership - even for women. But most women prefer to get to know someone before ripping their clothes off and jumping into bed.

Many men do too, if the truth were told (especially if the man is looking for a meaningful relationship). And it’s rare that a man will engage in a long-term relationship with a woman who so easily went to bed with them on day 1.

So, the stereotypical player, whether 20 years old or 60 years old, is giving all you other guys a bad reputation and making women want to stay home cuddled up with a book and a glass of wine.

You’ve seen the websites, read the articles and maybe even bought the books – “How to Pick Up Women at Clubs,” “Become a Expert Seducer,” or “How to Get Your Own Harem.”

“Okay, that sounds good,” you thought for a minute. Maybe you would like to have the advantage of being the world’s biggest player - maybe that’s how you would find the girl of your dreams!

Do you want your wife to be the kind of woman who’s easily picked up in bars? The kind of girl who doesn’t mind sharing your body with other women in an open relationship?

If you’re a nice guy, probably not. The guys who act like this are making nice girls everywhere run screaming in the other direction, and unfortunately, they’re assuming that all males act like that – kind of how you might assume all women like bad boys, right?

It’s up to you to turn that stereotype around. If you have the right information and social skills, you can. You won’t use it to pick up a hundred women, but to gain the trust of a single woman who you’d like to date and to hopefully find a life partner, leaving the players still struggling to find Mrs. Right when they’re in their elder years.

Don’t let the rest of your gender wreck your chances. You don’t have to be subject to the “all men are dogs” mindset that many women have. Women are still hopeful that they’ll meet someone wonderful to share their life with. That guy can be you.

If you’re a nice guy having trouble finding a woman to bond with and share a life with, don’t give up just yet. You may be missing some pieces of the puzzle, or you may need to hone your skills - whether it’s searching skills or getting out of your comfort zone (yes, sometimes dating and building a relationship requires that), but there’s no reason that you can’t do it. You can stay a nice, decent person and still date and find a great, loving relationship with a perfect woman.

If You’re a Nice Guy, Chances Are You’re Looking for a Nice Girl!

We all know that just like there are men who will bed any woman, any time, for any reason, there are also women like that. Certainly, who you sleep with, and for what reason is personal - and we’re not here to pass judgment.

But again, if you’re reading this, it’s probably because you’re a decent guy who’s looking for a decent girl who isn’t into tossing back a few shots and going home with the first guy she sees through her beer (or shot) goggles.

So, what are you looking for in a woman? As a nice guy looking for a nice girl, it’s extremely important for you to have an idea of what you want. To find out who you’re looking for, it’s best to start with yourself.

Some say that you need someone who is your opposite; others say you need someone who’s a lot like you. The truth is probably somewhere in between. We need contrast, but we also need things in common.

Take some time to think about what’s important to you. If being filthy rich is important to you, don’t pick a simple-living girl who has a problem with people who live a lifestyle of the rich and famous.

Likewise, if your favorite thing to do in the whole world is camp in the mountains, you might want to find a girl who at least likes being outdoors part of the time, not a whiny woman who can’t get her hands dirty on a weekend campout.

You need to define your own values before you can create your dream girl. Maybe you value spirituality. Or health and fitness. Or education, or adventure and risk-taking.

You can learn a lot about who you’re looking for by defining your own values. Remember though, you don’t need to find someone just like you. In fact, it’s probably better if you don’t.

Back to the question, “What are you looking for in a woman?”

Is she:

• Spiritual/Religious?
• Adventuresome?
• A Homebody?
• Excited About Having Kids?
• Athletic?
• Family Oriented?
• Self-sufficient/Independent?
• Feisty?
• Sweet?
• Great at Poker/Charades/Volleyball/Building a Campfire?
• Lazy on Saturday Mornings?
• Intelligent?
• Quiet and Reserved?
• Boisterous?

You get the idea. Now go define your perfect woman, keeping in mind that your she probably won’t have all of the qualities you think you want, but you might not match all on her list, either.

Always the Friend, Never the Boyfriend

We’ve all heard this lament, and maybe it’s come out of your own mouth – “Always a friend, but never a boyfriend.” Ouch! How does that happen, anyway? You’re a nice guy and you’ve demonstrated that you’re stable, reliable, friendly, honest, kind, loyal, and more.

This is how it happens - you have a friend, and that friend is a girl. She trusts you and confides in you. You’re there for her when her idiot boyfriend dumps her, and you’re there when her cat dies, and you’re there at her birthday, and you think she’s great (really great) and she thinks you’re her good, dear friend.

What’s up with that? Why can’t she see that you’d be perfect for her? Sometimes people are just friends, and that’s the extent of it. Or it’s possible that she really likes you, but is waiting for you to do something.

This is a tricky situation, but you don’t have to just wallow in uncertainty and pine after your female friend. Granted, it’s uncomfortable trying to tell her that you like her in more than a platonic way.

She might reject that. She might just want to be friends. She might say she feels the same. You won’t know until you find out. One thing that girls like in men is a certain amount of decisiveness, courage and confidence.

With friends, that’s not necessary. You don’t have anything to prove to her if she’s your friend, but if you want to be more than friends, you do. You have to let her know and you have to deal with the consequences.

If nothing else, just by doing this, you’ll earn a great amount of respect for your courage and honesty. It’s true that you stand to lose a friendship (if you sulk if she rejects you), but you might gain a girlfriend.

If you have a female friend and you’re pretty sure you’d like to take the relationship to a higher level, then you have to give it a shot. Before you do, go back to your description of your dream partner.

Does your friend meet most of those criteria? If things got serious, could you deal with her habits (the ones that are okay now because you’re just friends)? Being in this situation isn’t ideal, but it’s not impossible to change it for the better.

You can learn ways to show your feelings and find out how she feels. You can learn ways to boldly go for what you want, without having to employ sleazy, pick-up artist techniques or blurting it out at the wrong time (like right after she’s had her heart broken).

By learning the right way to approach the situation, you might find that your friend is now your girlfriend.

How a Nice Guy Can Turn It All Around!

So, Mister Nice Guy, let’s do this! You don’t have to be a jerk, a player or a bad boy to get the girl. You might need to learn some things along the way. What you need to know right now is that there are nice, beautiful, fun-loving, sexy, intelligent, exciting women out there that are perfect for you.

They’re looking for a good man. Someone who has a grip on reality and knows how to handle himself - that’s important to a woman. If your love life has been less-than-stellar lately, that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.

If you’re getting the wrong kind of dates or no dates at all, let’s do something about that! You can take action and take control of the situation, and that doesn’t mean that you have to turn into a jerk to do it.

Maybe you’re getting back into the dating scene. You’ve recently ended a long-term relationship. Maybe you’re gun-shy. That’s okay. But you can’t stay away from dating forever – not if you want a good, healthy relationship with a great person.

Whatever your situation, you’re going to get back on track. You can learn to incorporate some of those bad boy traits into your own personality without becoming a bad boy and compromising your beliefs.

You want to do this because women like to be (mildly) surprised and a taste of the unexpected is fun – as long as you know how to do it. Bad boys aren’t afraid to take risks. Maybe it’s because they have no conscience, but for you, it’ll be because you learn how to step outside of your comfort zone and go about dating from a new perspective.

Once you meet the women you want, you’ll begin developing great dating relationships. You don’t have to have deep pockets, a black belt, or a PhD. You need to learn to use your own uniquely great qualities, and you need to develop confidence in yourself as a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it.

Waiting for the perfect woman to appear at your doorstep is an ineffective way to get a date, much less find your life partner. So is going the player route. You can learn the right way to get what you want while preserving your sense of self. Now that’s valuable, and it works!